When would you feel happy?
When would you feel sad?
When would you feel angry?
Our feelings are so important because they can help us decide if we are safe or not safe.
Does everyone know what it means to be safe?
We have rules we follow called Safety rules that keep us safe.
What are some of the rules we have in school?
What are some of the rules we have at home?
I just told you that your feelings can help to tell you whether you are safe or not safe. So let’s put on our thinking caps and think…if the fire alarm in school goes off and there is a fire, how would you feel?
Go around the room and allow each student to express a feeling he/she may have, and ask the student to describe in detail when they might have that feeling. Prompt them with examples: Birthday party, someone taking away their toy or not sharing with them, hearing thunder or a loud noise at night, etc.
Sometimes we may feel confused or mixed up. This can mean we have 2 feelings at the same time. For example, when my mommy doesn’t let me have a cookie before bedtime. I love my mommy, but I also feel angry at her. I feel 2 things at the same time and that is okay. It is very important to start to notice and to listen to what our feelings are telling us.
Oftentimes sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows and even loves. This can be very confusing for the child. That is why this feeling of being confused or mixed up is important to discuss. Have kids give examples and come up with your own.
Imagine you went with your mother to the grocery store, and you got lost. How would you feel? (Allow students to answer) These feelings tell us that the situation we are in is probably not safe for us.
Whatever feelings we have, there are people in our lives that we want to share those feelings with. Can you think of whom you would want to share your feelings with at home?
Whom do you tell when you are feeling sad or scared at home? What about excited and happy?
(Have students give examples of individuals in their lives whom they feel comfortable talking to, such as a mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandparents)
How about in school? Who would you talk to in school if you were sad?
(Show the Safety Star Chart Poster have kids come up and stick on the cut out trusted adult examples included in lesson 1 using Velcro, fun tack etc.)
This is Shani the shiny star. She is going to help you remember who the star adults in your life are. Today you are each going to get your very own Safety Star adult chart. At home you will fill out your chart with your parent or caregiver. In the middle of Shani the Shiny star you will put your name. Then you are going to write, or make pictures of the other Star Adults in your life that you can trust to tell your feelings to especially when your scared or confused. Those adults will be there to keep you safe. Make sure the person filling out the chart with you agrees that those adults are okay. You can choose whichever adult makes you feel safe. Just make sure that the adults you choose are old enough to drive a car. It’s also very important to choose one or two adults that are not in your family, like a close neighbor, and someone in school, such as your teacher, principal, or school nurse. This way, no matter where you are you will have people you can go turn to, who can keep you safe.
Always remember that if you talk to a star adult on your chart, but you don’t feel better or you don’t think that person is really listening you can go tell another adult on your chart. You have to keep telling until you are Heard and you get Help.
who would you go to at home if:
It is very important for you to encourage the students to pick one or two Trusted Adults that are outside of the home such as a teacher, school nurse, principal, family friend, etc. If a child is being victimized at home they need to be able to tell someone outside their immediate family.
Check with students in the weeks following the lesson to make sure they filled out their Safety Star Charts and hung it up in a place they can easily access. Make it a rewarding and fun task. It’s a good idea to send home a reminder to parents and ask them to sign, showing the Safety Star Chart was completed.
Ask parents to place the Safety Star Chart on the family refrigerator or any other prominent place in the house. 90% of the time a child is abused by someone they know, so having the Safety Star Chart in a prominent place may make a perpetrator think twice.
Ask the students to come to you with their feelings and validate them. Offer praise when they tell you how they are feeling. By validating your students you are boosting their self-esteem and empowering them to stick up for themselves. You are further teaching them that they are valued and loved.